Romancing the print job

There are some days when I really know I have picked the right career path. This week has been full of days like this. Firstly, I successfully sent the files for my next promotional postcard off to the printers and they came back yesterday stacked neatly in a box looking all professional and lovely. Sending off print jobs always fills me with anxiety; a history of dealing with corrupt files, spelling mistakes and even the occasional “caption goes here” left in the space under photos means I never completely trust myself until I have the product back in my hands and have read the text over and over and over. But all was fine. I have addressed a stack of the cards, spent a bomb on postage and will be sending out the first lot today. I am waiting on my new edition of the Children’s Writer’s & Illustrator’s Market to arrive from the States so I can send out the next lot to a whole group of unsuspecting art directors and designers. Also, I designed a brand, spanking new business card that I am very happy with and will hopefully come back from the printers today so that I will have them ready to hand out at a client meeting tomorrow morning.

This client meeting is quite intriguing. I am having the Melbourne Romance Writers Guild sub-committee over for morning tea and to discuss a new logo for their organisation. I am so excited about having a room bursting full of romance writers! (“a swoon of romance writers” is the collective noun that Big-P thought of this morning). I am imagining a room full of ladies with big hair, huge earrings, glossy lipstick on generous mouths and an exciting array of muu-muus. When I told Lliam about my meeting he rightly suggested that I should make sure I have vases full of fresh flowers throughout the house and have the french doors opening out onto the garden (this is a given if the weather is good). Along these same lines I also imagine I should serve towering cake trays laden with sticky little treats and pour gallons of tea into pretty, gold rimmed teacups which will perch precariously on piles of dog eared manuscripts on top of teetering antique coffee tables. Big-P kindly (but not rightly) suggested that he could make sure that he will stride through the house broodingly and mysteriously with his shirt gaping open. This probably won’t have quite the right effect as he will be on Amelia duty and will be invariably covered in drool and vomit. Mind you, I haven’t read a romance book in a long time and perhaps these days there are sub-genres which involve domesticated men who can “gaa-gaa, goo-goo” with the best of them. I mentioned some of my expectations to my contact from the group who emailed me back saying “get ready to be surprised”! What can this mean?!

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15 Responses

  1. Romance writers tend to be very unlike romance readers… very methodical and grounded… you know they even get together and exchange “romance templates” at conventions? Just plug in new names and new locations, same story. Honestly, they do this!

  2. Good luck with the meeting Claire.
    You need a rate card or something. My fledgeling knitwear biz needs a logo.

  3. I’d expect several overweight unshaven men in white tank tops with mustard stains and jeans dirty from wiping grimy hands. Cigarettes dangling from lips and frequent glances at your chest. That would be a surprise, would it not?

  4. There was that movie called “Paperback Hero” in which they had Hugh Jackman playing a romance writer who hid behind a female persona. There is room to dream…

  5. says:

    I guess it is the same as not expecting a room full of librarians to be all wearing cardies, thick glasses and sporting a severe bun. Some of the funkiest people I know are librarians…

  6. One of the regular substitute teachers at my high school was a romance novelist. She had plenty of muu muus, but she was also a Mormon housewife with five kids.

  7. Funny, I had a vision of a room full of Barbara Cartlands. Then as I scanned the comments and saw the name Hugh Jackman, dear Barbara went *poof* right out the window. That sounds like a VERY interesting client meeting. Best of luck!

  8. Best of luck Claire. You write romance in your own way. 🙂

  9. I think Fabio once tried to write romance novels. I once saw a novel of his in the bookstore. But I guess his writing career never took off, as I never saw his name on any of the books in the romance section again. Of course, he *could* have started using a female pen name. 😉

  10. There is a fabulous and funny book about a reporter who gets assigned to cover a romance writers’ conference and what happens after that. It’s written in the style of a romance novel, too, but with a surprise twist. It’s by Sarah Bird, and is called THE BOYFRIEND SCHOOL. It’s out of print and hard to find, but worth it if you can get it. I love your new cards!

  11. I know so well the anxiety of waiting for a print job to come back. I worked in the print industry for many years and have seen so many tragedies. Have a good time with the writers and let us know.

  12. Good luck with the meeting! Generally speaking, romance writers are pretty ordinary people – though they have this extraordinary craving for chocolate, all of them. I should know, I edit their books for a living. :)P.S. Oh, and yes, today’s romance heroes take care of babies, too.

  13. Ooooh, now I so want to work on some promotional material for my own business!! 😀

  14. says:

    So… how did it go?

  15. says:

    I’m curious, how did it go? What variety of species were they?I really enjoy your illustrations.