Head in the Cloudes

Today was a golden day.
The last few weeks have been some tough ones for me. My energy levels have been flat and Amelia has been practicing a fair amount of… let’s just call it “self expression” and it’s been wearing me down. After a little internet self-diagnosis I decided that I might in fact have low iron levels, so after consulting my obstetrician on Wednesday, I started taking iron pills and have also made sure we’ve been eating enough red meat. Today I feel so, so much better. Thank you internet!

After Amelia’s swimming lesson, we went with my Mum and a family friend up into the hills for a picnic and spent some time wandering around Cloudehill and while it was overcast and cool, it completely lifted our spirits. Amelia hunted for fairies and then fell in love with a very cute Border Terrier, Mum did a silly dance for us in the amphitheatre, our Family friend enjoyed conversation with a stranger and Spanish guitar music coming out of a radio in the sculpture garden and I somehow managed to accidentally slide off a path and down a hill on my butt. And for some reason Amelia was a dream all day. And after we got home this afternoon, she spent some time drawing, followed by some brilliantly creative lego play, then she helped me make some muffins from go to woe with great patience and interest and then she played quietly with her dolls, chatting away to them in cheerful tones. She didn’t grizzle, sulk, destroy anything or mention the words “computer games” or “TV” or “I want!” at all… at all. I could hardly believe it. I had to keep going in to Big-P and saying “come out and look at this!”.

But tomorrow is Amelia’s first day of Pre-school. As I layed out her clothes on the bed this morning ready to be labled with her name-tags I found myself getting quite choked up. Her clothes were so soft and small and hardly enough to protect her from life, the universe and everything. She is so excited about her first day, and about what she might do, and who she might be friends with (“maybe a boy, maybe a girl – we’ll see!”) and I am so pleased that she is obviously so ready to be undertaking this new part of her life. But she’s so soft and small! I can hardly stand it.

You may also like...

30 Responses

  1. I’m so happy to hear you’re feeling better, and that you had such a wonderful day.I loved what you wrote about Amelia’s first day of preschool. What a bittersweet time.

  2. Oh, I know, I know. My baby starts pre-school on Monday. It’s breaking my heart. But at the same time, I’m going to admit to a secret happy dance of “3 hours all for me, all for me! Yippee!” But not while he’s in the room, of course 🙂

  3. Good luck at preschool tomorrow – for Amelia and you! It is a wrench isn’t it? My Jack starts big school on Monday and I’m just not gonna think too much about it right now… 🙂

  4. Yes, that is exactly how it feels when your child starts school!You know how to phrase it so beautifully…
    Good luck tomorrow!

  5. Aww, that brought tears to my eyes. I think i’ll be the same when my girls go to school.

  6. serj@bigpond.net.au says:

    I know how you feel. i sent # 2 off to school for the first time yesterday – so hard – i’m glad i still have # 3 to help me through!

  7. These days are the best..few and far between… and so so special, it’s nice to hear you had a relaxing day (I hope bubs didn’t mind that slide off the path!)

  8. It is amazing how kids pick up on their parents feelings. When you feel good, they feel good.
    I really enjoy coming to your site. I’m in the middle of a transition in my life where I find my self missing my creative side.

    You’r inspiring. Keep you chin up!

  9. well, i come here almost everyday and never leave a comment
    you are such an inspiration to so many people all over the world

    i wish you a happy first day of school

    everything is going to be fine

  10. Yes, she is, but she’ll keep on growing, whether you and Big P want her to or not! Bless her little heart- I hope she has a wonderful first day and that it is not too hard on you! Glad you’re feeling better- be sure to get enough fiber to counteract the effects of all that iron. (Sorry, once a mom, always a mom!)

  11. Having children often feels like wearing your heart on the outside of your body.Happy first day of preschool to you all!

  12. The first days of school are always harder for the Mummies and even the Daddies.I’m tearing up just thinking of Paul going up the big steps with his lunchbox and too-big Bob the Builder backpack for the first time.
    Yes, of course I took a picture!

  13. jmb02e@acu.edu says:

    beautiful post, as always. it’s inspiring to see the devotion and love you pour into your family, your craft, and your life in general – even on the tough days!

  14. ginhead@excite.com says:

    Good luck with Amelia’s preschool! Oh, and the iron intake — woofah! That’s me very soon…

  15. asta_pup@yahoo.com says:

    heartbreaking! when you said ‘soft and small’ i almost started to choke up too. i have to drop my kidlet at daycare every day (sigh) and it isn’t easy. but if you find the right situation, it’s wonderful for the wee ones.

  16. leetusdesigns@ozemail.com.au says:

    I say…cry if you want to!! My little girl has been going to daycare for 4 weeks now (two days a week) and the first day I cried ALL DAY!! then each day since I havent cried But the pain is there none the less…I talked to Mum about it and said “I hope it doesnt take long to get used to this..” and she said you never do!! Who’d be a mother hey??? hahaha. Us all I guess!

  17. Grumbles is going to her first play group session on Monday, and I’m freaking out big time, which is quite ridiculous considering I’m going to be there! Why do they have to grow up so fast?

  18. Chin Up! What a great job you have done. You have a little girl who is so secure she is looking forward to her first day at school!

  19. I know I am going to be a blubbering idiot for the first day of school. I think it really signifies their independence from you. When my daughter was born four years ago every kept telling me to enjoy it because ‘they grow up so fast’ – of course I didn’t believe them. But now that she is one the brink of school I realise there is a whole future’s worth of things I won’t know about her. *Sigh* … being a parent is such an emotional rollercoaster.

  20. She may be soft and small but she’s not a marshmallow! She’ll be fine and no doubt will love the stimulation. I have every confidence that she will wow her fellow preschoolers with her amazing creativity!!!! Here’s a corny line for you: you’ve got to let them go to let them grow.
    My baby is six months old and I recently experienced a ‘flat spot’ too – someone suggested iron levels to me and sure as anything, as soon as I took an iron supplement I suddenly felt so much better. So don’t neglect your iron intake in the months after the birth like I did!

  21. hi claire, i haven’t been by here for so long, and now i hear that amelia is off to pre-school. my god how time flies. how old is she? i hope you weren’t too teary this morning, and i’m sure you can’t stop thinking about her all the time. these first lettings go are amongsth the hardest i’ve heard. hang in there, hug to you!and cloudehill looks just gorgeous, will put that on my list of things to do when i come to melbourne next.

  22. icz@charter.net says:

    I think the hardest part for me is like what surfingfree said: that there will be a universe of things my son will experience without me. He can’t even sleep a full night without me right now! (He’s 2)
    Bit, sounds like a you have a courageous girl on your hands, and I am sure you are, too. Glad to hear of the lovely day.

  23. I have a feeling that January is sucking the energy out of most good-standing citizens. It certainly is for me. Maybe it’s just a natural post-December come-down. And the strange Melboune weather of late is defintely part of the equation.

  24. Claire, I remember reading the posts about Amelia being a newborn and now it’s PRESCHOOL TIME??? How did that happen so quick???

  25. ago94169@bigpond.net.au says:

    I’ve just discovered your site and love reading your blog… my little chickie (14 months) has just started daycare & its been such a wrench… also feel guilty because I long for just a little time to myself to pursue my creative endeavours & business. Anyways, finding your site has really cheered me up, & I’m gonna try an iron supplement too :>)

  26. lecetsa80@yahoo.com says:

    My older boy has been going for almost six months now. The first days are hard the pride and fear welling up inside; but the teachers understand, and when you stop by just to peek through a door or window to “make sure” they smile with that knowing smile of women who have seen and done the same thing many times. After a short time you realize that you have a few precious hours to accomplish or rest (we all know how a sigh of relaxation can bring a child in need running). Remember your first day and think of the adventures she sees ahead. And may your cooler have the power of three in the hot days of pregnancy.

  27. lecetsa80@yahoo.com says:

    As a stay at home mommie with a traveling hubbie I relish adult moments. You bring smiles and a not too serious light of insperation to my days. Thank you

  28. Dear Claire, I had my eldest start school this week!!! And I didn’t just cry when I got home, I bawled my eyes out! My middle son statred 3+ activitiy group and this is only 2 hours a week, but I had another bawling session anyway. I am sure Amelia will love going to pre school. I am having baby number 4 in August, I’m not sure if I told you already or not.

  29. Isn’t Cloudehill just wonderful? It has the first Red Border that actually inspired rather than nauseated me.
    I slid down a cliff on my bum this weekend too. Must be something in the air … uh, soil? … right now.