by loneranger

Every birthday I celebrate by inviting a small group of friends to share a feast and a few drinks in front of the fire, on a cool winter's night. I awake early, while it is still cold enough to see my breath every time I exhale, and I begin my regime of baking, frying, stirring, whipping (Ok, and a lil taste testing). By the time my friends arrive there is a table filled with muffins, fritters, cakes, potato wedges, banana breads and the every trusty, always popular pâtés. A few years ago I perfected the incredible give-me-more-now-or-else Ricotta and Borlotti Bean Pâté. (NB: This also goes by the name of Ricotta and Whatever Beans I Find First Pâté.)

The trip to the supermarket is your first step, of course. This involves searching high and low in the "bean" aisle for the elusive 400g/14oz can of borlotti beans [otherwise known as Cranberry beans - Ed]. What you must learn is that they are there somewhere, but you will never find them. The borlotti beans are white and red speckled, and popular in Italian cooking. They taste like a regular bean to me (though I wouldn't really call myself a bean connoisseur). Settle for any other type of bean that takes your fancy. While you're at the supermarket, don't forget to pick up a loaf of dark rye. Nothing else is good enough for this trusty pâté.

The other thing about beans, especially tinned beans, is they often lead to…uhh…rumblings, the next day. The best way to avoid this is to drain the liquid from them and wash the beans thoroughly, replacing the water several times. If you can soak them for an hour or so it will be even better. This will make them easier to digest…in the long run.

Once you've gathered all your ingredients blend the beans, garlic, cheese, butter, lemon juice, salt and pepper in the food processor until it all looks smooth and creamy. Have a taste. Add a bit more of everything. Taste again. Now add chopped herbs until they're blended in nicely, too. Taste it again. Probably add a few more herbs. They'd better be fresh herbs, or you've already ruined the pâté. Good one! Now all your "cooking" is done. Wasn't that easy? Spoon it into a dish and put it in the fridge to set.

Cut your dark rye into little squares. If you're feeling adventurous make other shapes, too. If it's for a Christmas party make stars and little Christmas trees. That'd be fun. The book said serve with radish slices and sprigs of dill on top, but I figure they'll just get in the way when everyone dives in. Put dish in the centre of a platter and surround with dark rye pieces. When your guests arrive watch it disappear fast. Wait for someone to say, "Well, you've really outdone yourself this time!"