entry ten - 6 January 2000

I have to be quick-ish, Small will be here soon for our weekly night of good food and TV. Big-P is cooking up Bulgarian Pepper Casserole (another Moosewood favourite) which I'm sure will be amazing but it's a little worrying as Special-K doesn't like peppers - somehow Big-P thinks he is going to win her over to it with the mere fact that he's cooked it so it must be delicious.

Today I had a crisis of confidence (read: couldn't stop crying) and have decided to take two days off work. Things have been a little tense since our planning meetings last week. We decided that we will give the company another six months and if things don't look like picking up we will consider calling it a day and look for something else to do. As you can imagine - this is one of my worries. What else would I do? I'm totally sure I could get another job doing web design - but the question is do I want to? I really like doing my own projects but I find working for clients absolutely agonising. I hate hate hate them. I guess I could work for a company that's doing their own web thing and not an outsource company, but these opportunities are a little limited in Melbourne, perhaps I could talk up my talents to my friend at lonely planet online. Perhaps we'll seriously consider the States.

Stress number two is that as part of the planning I have become head of a division that has to reach a huge and massive target in 18 months, (I have to be able to know if this is possible in 6) and it's sent me into a spin. It's the only division that didn't exist before last week so I'm starting from scratch. It just may kill me, and I've taken to looking longingly at resort/island holiday location brochures. Last time I started doing this (I was fixating on a trip to Byron Bay - which I finally did manage to get to) I was maxing out from working excruciating hours art directing a magazine which was a miserable time, but good for my cv.

Stress number three is that, to help the company survive on no money while there is such a mammoth amount of work to do, we've decided to take a small fixed salary for the six months. And I mean small. My planned trip to the UK with Sez and Special-K in April is almost a complete impossibility, which is very sad as I'll have to miss one of my dearest and sweetest friend's wedding. Ahhh well. These are the sacrifices of being your own boss. Crappy.

Sooo --- blah blah blah! Other than that. We've decided to take tomorrow off as a "mental health day" and go and do something nice. Maybe a movie, maybe the zoo (but I can't stand the sad, pacing big cats in tiny cages) maybe junk-shop visits.

I am dying for my Looper CD to arrive but Chaos music are being slow as hell. So tell me - what are the benefits of buying CDs online? Pffff.

Tomorrow I'll be more happy - promise.

Xxx

 

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