My dentist told me that it takes 30 days to create a habit (she was talking about flossing) and I think she might be right. Starting off blogging every day this month was really hard, most evenings I sat down and moaned about how I had nothing to say and how I was too tired and how I wanted to watch TV instead and so on. Now, 25 days later I most days I feel I still have nothing to say, but I have relaxed a little and accepted that not every entry (or any for that matter) is going to be groundbreaking or change lives or inspire anyone or even make anyone laugh, and it has got a lot easier. There is less than a week left of NaBloPoMo and hopefully, unless there are unforeseen circumstances, I should make the distance.
I wish I had more time to write about the things which are really on my mind – to talk about creative stirrings and a feeling that life is gradually getting back on track and how much I love my little girls and why and what they mean to me. I also wish there was time to talk about the days when I find that being a mum is still something that feels so unnatural to me and I wonder what on earth I am doing but somehow usually when I wake up the next morning things feel much better again.
But there isn’t time to explain it all, so I post snippets instead and hope that they somehow convey a sense of all these things.