I’m sick. I have to flu – the real thing, glands up, aching limbs, hot and cold sweats. Had to cancel three things I have been looking forward to all week; lunch with Special-K, class and a mother’s group evening out of Indian food and drinks. Amelia J cried between 12.30 and 2.30 on and off last night and the rest of the time I lay awake with aching sinuses or had weird dreams about angels and knitting. We actually managed to see out the crying (10 minutes followed by quick comfort followed by 15 minutes etc) pretty well apart from a heated exchange between Big-P and I around 2. “I need to get some sleep! Let’s bring her into bed!” — “No! I need sleep too but if she’s been crying for 20 minutes and then we bring her into bed it’s just going to go on and on and on!”, on which – despite that desperate need for sleep – we agreed. When I did go in to give her a little pat and some soothing words she would yell things angrily at me like: “GOODNIGHT! GOOODNIGHT!” or “TUTTER! TUTTER!” (who is a small mouse character she sees every morning on Bear in the Big Blue House). She finally did fall asleep without having to come into bed with us and has just had a three hour nap this afternoon. It might be another tough one tonight but it’s going to be ok. I have to go and lie on the couch now.