This week I have been trying to work on a business plan. I sat down on Monday morning and wrote the heading LOOBYLU HEAVY INDUSTRIES BUSINESS PLAN 2003-2004 as a kind of joke (or an exercise in positive affirmation) start to the project. How impressive that looked! For a few moments images of a huge studio with loft ceilings and a bubbling coffee machine, full of brilliant sunlight and inspired artisans working on fabulous products danced around merrily in my mind. I pictured myself rolling into the staff car park in a Mercedes A-class full of baby seats, plonking down baby-y or baby-z in the staff creche where the babies were rolling about giggling, painting on easels and blitzing montessori puzzles. I saw myself walking through this bustling hive, holding a bursting filofax full of samples and sketches, and waving magnanimously to all my staff who were screen-printing, carrying stacks of paper, working on big screened computers, preparing vegetarian lunches and laughing and gossiping. Everyone seemed to be wearing big grey work aprons and had super short, super cute hair cuts, beautiful shoes and perfect complexions. Pastries for morning tea, gallery visits for inspiration. So I started writing a mission statement but sat there for the longest time with my brain stuck on “I am…” and at that point I realised that a business plan is a little tricky as I’m not sure what it is that I am actually in the business of doing. So I started sifting through a small business how-to book and discovered chapters on profit projections and sensitivity analysis. At that point I hit my dead end, and at this point it was the end of Tuesday – marking the end of my baby sitting days for the week.
For the last few weeks, since discovering that my holiday cards would sell, I have been attempting to work on my next project (code named “wall calendar 2004”) and at the end of each photoshop session I come away feeling completely frustrated. The problem has been that I sit there scribbling away on my wacom tablet thinking “oh boy, will this sell? Is this what people like? Maybe this is too subtle / boring / cutesie / weird!” etc. I am getting no closer to finishing the first illustration out of the 12 that the project calls for. So as of Friday morning after a rant to my good buddy Anne (who was on the other end of the phone trying to eat her breakfast after being up until 4am with a chicken pox irritated babe – she’s a good friend to listen to my self-indulgent ramblings at such times) I have decided to stop seeing myself as a business enterprise for a while, put the business plan on a back burner and get back to the core of it all which, at the moment, is drawing pictures which I think look ok and being an attentive mother to little Amelia. That will keep me busy enough for the time being.